Almost Lover
by RollinGxStaR
Summary: IchigoxOC Oneshot Hana's usually a happy person, but on the inside she doesn't always feel it. Take a look at one humans life and emotions, and see what she really feels.


This is something that I've wanted to write more than life itself. Be warned that it's not a happy story, it's not horribly depressing either, but for those who are curious, it's based off of my life. Obviously I don't really know Ichigo and names have been changed, but the general plot line is my life. The things I feel, the things I've seen, everything is from my heart. One other thing is that if you want to really get the feel of it, you should listen to Almost Lover by A Fine Frenzy, that's what I listened to while I wrote this. But anyway, please read and enjoy.

* * *

A soft breeze filled the air with scents of the city. It was a bit depressing that even the fresh smells of spring could be lost in this maze of cars and buildings. But nothing else could be expected when you lived in a city like this.

"Earth to Hana…Come in Hana…" Kenichi mumbled, waving his hand in front of her face. The tan man looked down at his friend, shaking her arm lightly. "Stop spacing out! I was just telling you about my new boyfriend!"

Light hazel eyes blinked lightly, snapping the young girl back into focus. "Oh, sorry. I'm really tired today." Hana stretched as she walked, yawning widely at the same time. "Work's been keeping me busy, and I just started those summer classes, so I've been lacking in the sleep department."

The black haired man scoffed. "You'd be lacking in the sleep department even if you had nothing to do all day, you insomniac."

"Right!" She grinned, ignoring the honks and wolf whistles she received as the two walked together. After so many years, it all just faded into the background. "So you were saying? How is this Ryū guy?"

"Ugh, I'm done with Ryū, now I'm with Akira. And you're not going to listen anyway, I know you. You always fade out when I talk about my love life." Kenichi muttered, nudging her arm with his as they walked.

She repressed a sigh and smiled brightly at her friend, laughing weakly. "It's more entertaining than mine…"

Carefully, he put his arm around her shoulder. "Come on, Hana…How long has it been?"

"Just a little over seven months. But don't go assuming things. Not everything is about him." It was a lie. Ever since she met him, everything had been about him. No matter what she did, she thought of him. "I'm fine, so stop looking at me like that."

"…Whatever you say…" He sighed, releasing his friend and stuffing his hands in his pocket. "Hey, I gotta go. Okaa-san wants me to go with her to see her family. They're probably going to make me do more chores."

"That's okay," Hana smiled, looking down the road that parted their ways. "I should probably get home too. Otou-san should be going to his second job and Okaa-san should be just about ready to start bitching at me for not cleaning today."

Kenichi laughed lightly patting the red head's shoulder. "Good luck with that. I'll see you later!"

"Yeah, later…"

* * *

Hana lay in her bed, idly chatting with some friends online and listening to music. Ignoring the still painful memories of, "I wish you weren't my daughter!", or, "You're going to turn out like your brother!", she sang along to the song that was playing.

"Well so you're gone and I'm haunted, and I'll be you are just fine. Did I make it that easy to walk right in and out…of my life?" A sad expression was held on her features as the words rang in her head.

_You're thinking about him still, aren't you?_

God, couldn't she actually be serious and not have everyone assume it was because of him?

_Don't even try to fool me, Hana, I know you too well._

That was true. If anyone knew, and even came close to understanding what she felt, it was Rei. "Stop thinking so into it, Rei, I just miss him."

_I'm sorry. I miss my him. But I know it'll never come even close to how much you miss him him._

Sometimes it was scary how much Reiko cared about Hana and…_him_. Although after countless nights of sitting through Hana's crying, it wasn't really that surprising. It didn't make a lot of sense though. Why did she think Hana's love story was the best in history? Unrequited love was the worst there could be.

That wasn't true. Unrequited love at least meant that it wasn't returned for sure; instead Hana's love seemed to be returned but he wouldn't let it be.

After everything they'd been through, all the nights they'd spent just talking and being with each other, every single time he said he wouldn't betray her…

Softly wiping away the tears that were running down her cheeks, Hana cursed herself. It wasn't fair how just a memory could make her this weak.

_You're crying, aren't you? I'll be right there._

Within a few minutes the phone rang. "How come just talking about him still makes my heart hurt? It's not fair!" She cried, burying her face in her free hand.

"Aww…Hana…" Reiko sighed. "It's what happens when you really love someone."

"Why do I have to love _him_…?" A shaky sigh escaped her lips. The tears had stopped and already Hana could feel herself becoming more detached. By now it only happened once a month or so. She would think of him and the tears would just happen, but in general she'd done a fairly good job of creating an apathetic shell.

The silence the two friends had settled in was disrupted as Reiko cleared her throat. "I lost the game."

Hana laughed lightly, shaking her head. "Damn you, Rei-chan!"

"I love you!" The younger offered, laughing lightly into the phone.

* * *

Several hours later Hana's cell phone rang. "Okaa-san…" She sighed, answering the phone. "Moshi, moshi?"

"Hana, we're going to visit Satoshi on the seventeenth." Hana's mother stated, not leaving any choice for the teen.

"But, Okaa-san, I already have plans!" Hana argued. She only got to see her friends who lived in Kyoto once a month at best, she didn't want to give it up to go spend a day in prison visiting her problem child brother. "I can't change them just to go visit Satoshi!"

"I don't care. You see your friends more than you see your brother. We're going and that's that."

Before Hana could even argue her point further, the phone went silent. Another touching family moment...

She stared at the wall blankly. Every time she'd think about it she could feel the pain again. Although it had been years since she'd tried anything, and by now she realized that it did nothing good. Now she understood just how pointless it was to try and take her own life when that wouldn't accomplish anything.

There were still scars. Very faint ones, mostly on her legs, but those were nothing but bad memories.

Sighing loudly, she shook her head. All these bad memories floated around her head, biting at her sanity. "C'mon, Hana, stop thinking so much. You've got a beautiful body, a brilliant mind, great friends, a good job, good grades, and someone you love with your whole heart. You know you love you."

And it was true. Despite every single flaw everyone would pick out she always knew that she could at least love herself. And that alone set her on a different level than the rest.

Although there was one thing she hated about herself.

She hated loving him.

* * *

_From their first meeting…_

Soft brown eyes locked with hazel ones. It was the fourth time in the past ten minutes that they had run into each other. It seemed like no matter what these two were going to be drawn to each other.

"Well, looks like we can't stay away from each other, huh?" Hana smiled brightly at the orange haired teen offering her hand to shake. "I'm Nioikaze Hana, pleasure to meet you."

"Kurosaki Ichigo." He smiled in reply, taking her hand. "It's nice to meet you too."

_…to the first time he was there for her…_

Hana held her head in her hands. Why did everyone expect her to be able to do it all? She couldn't take everyone blaming it on her; it was just too much to ask of her.

"Hana, what's wrong?" Ichigo asked, watching her growing more and more frustrated by the second. "You can't take the world on by yourself."

"Easy for you to say! Everyone expects you to take on the world and you do it, so why can't I?"

He turned away from her, sighing lightly. "I can't always do it. Even when I try I fail too. But even so, you can always come to me. I'll be there for you."

The younger looked up at her friend. "…Right."

_…to the first promise he made…_

"It's inevitable…She's just going to forget about us and move on. It's what all my friends do when they can stand on their own two feet." Hana sighed leaning against her bed.

Ichigo's voice sounded soft over the phone. "If you two are as close as you seem, then I doubt you two are going to move on from each other any time soon."

"Are you kidding?" The red head scoffed. "She already practically lives with her boyfriend, and she even has a new friend she hangs out with all the time now. Megumi and I are just not meant to remain close. I'm happy for her, I really am, but I just can't help but get sad when people leave me."

"You make it sound so final…" The nineteen year old mumbled.

Sadness dripped across her words, reflecting the pain she was actually feeling. "Even you'll leave me too. It just happens."

"Hana…I won't leave you, and I won't betray you. Ever." The determination in his voice had a calming effect on the young female.

"…Promise?"

"Promise."

_…to the first time he held her…_

"I guess I should probably get going." Ichigo yawned, looking over at Hana and Reiko.

Both of their expressions dropped immediately. "Really?" Reiko asked.

He nodded.

"Okay, bye Ichigo!" Reiko smiled, giving him a tight hug.

Hana could feel her throat tighten. There was no way she would be jealous of Reiko, she didn't look at Ichigo that way and he didn't either. But still…

For that moment, her heart seemed to stop beating, as if Reiko was holding Hana's very world in her arms.

Ichigo then turned to Hana. They just seemed to stare at each other, neither making a move. Finally Ichigo grabbed his car keys. "I guess I should go…"

"Wait!" Hana called.

He turned around just in time to watch Hana attach herself to his waist. "Bye, Ichigo…" She mumbled into his chest.

Carefully, he wrapped his arms around her as well. "Bye, Hana…"

_…to the last time they spoke…_

Ichigo seemed so torn up and so frustrated with his problems, but Hana couldn't find anything she could do to help. It finally seemed like he would open up to her completely; but she was helpless after all.

"I just don't have anyone there to lean on completely…" He mumbled, looking away from Hana.

She swallowed the lump in her throat before speaking up. "What about me? And Reiko? I know that you say you don't need anyone to hold you up, but we really care about you. All we ever want is to see you happy. And I know that you won't open up to me now, but I'll wait. I just want you to know that I'm there for you, no matter what. And I hope that someday you'll open up to me completely."

Her hands were shaking, her heart was beating quickly, but she was happy that he could finally understand what he meant to her.

"…Yeah…" Ichigo sighed. "I'm tired now, so I'm going to go."

Hana's eyes were beginning to water anyway. "O-okay, I'll talk to you later then…"

Without a glance back at her he left. "Bye."

Deep in her heart she knew what had happened. This was the end.

_…she would always love him._

_

* * *

_

Hana stared sadly at her ceiling. She had been reminiscing again, and it was starting to hurt. Just then her cell phone began ringing.

It was a text message from Rei. _You know he never deserved you._

A soft smile graced her features as she flipped open her phone and began texting back.

_I know…He deserved so much more._

_

* * *

_

And now you know what a horribly depressing person the Narrator really is. God, I suck when I get emo. There is more to the story than just that, but that's the general gist of it. He always did make me think of Ichigo the way that he always tried to take on the world single handedly.

I still hope that someday, I'll be the one to give him what he deserves.


End file.
